Faith, Film, and the F-word
When Christian Parenting Meets Real-World Media
The other day, I had a fun conversation with my son. We were talking about a movie I had watched back in college – a film that was, how to put this… extremely violent and filled with coarse language. I remembered how much I enjoyed it at the time. It was gritty, intense, even funny – everything you’d want in a mindless action flick from 1999.
But talking about that specific movie then moved to a broader conversation about media in general. Violent films. Popular music. The language we use. What’s okay? What’s not? How do we live wisely in a world where so much content is just... everywhere?
My wife and I don’t follow a parenting model built on sheltering our kids from the world. We’ve never believed that keeping them in a bubble is the best way to prepare them for adulthood. That said, we do believe in shielding them from certain things while they’re still learning how to think critically and spiritually about the world. There are some things children just aren't ready to process. But we also know they’re going to encounter plenty at school or on the bus or even during soccer practice. We're not panicked about a PG-13 movie with a few swear words when we know that their peers are probably dropping worse language before third period.
This is where we try to thread the needle: being in the world, but not of it.
That phrase—"in the world but not of it"—gets tossed around in Christian circles a lot. It's not a direct Bible quote, but the idea comes from Jesus’ prayer in John 17, where He asks the Father not to take His followers out of the world, but to protect them from the evil one while they remain in it. It’s the tension of presence without compromise.
The apostle Paul addresses this in a very practical way in 1 Corinthians 5. He says something that surprises people if they haven’t read it closely before:
“I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world." (vv. 9-10)
In other words, Paul fully expects that Christians will live and move among all sorts of people with all kinds of beliefs and behaviors. The issue isn’t proximity—it’s influence. Paul’s real concern in that passage isn’t how the church interacts with non-believers, but with people inside the church who claim to follow Jesus but persist in unrepentant sin.
So back to my conversation with my son: the real question we kept circling around was this—who is influencing whom?
That’s what is so important to keep in mind as my children, or myself for that matter, interact with the world around us, a world that doesn’t follow the way of Jesus. It’s not just about what we’re exposed to, but about the direction of influence. Are we being shaped by what we consume, or are we approaching it thoughtfully, critically, even redemptively?
As growing followers of Jesus, we don’t want the world to define our kids’ values or identity. We want them to get that from scripture: from the life, teachings, and example of Jesus. So there is room for limiting the intake of rough entertainment. There is something to be said for the “garbage in, garbage out” theory. But we also want them to be strong enough to engage the world, not hide from it. That requires more than rules—it requires wisdom, honesty, and a relationship with God that’s alive and growing.
There’s a kind of Christianity that’s always shouting, “Don’t watch that, don’t listen to that, don’t go there.” But from my own limited experience in this life, I’ve seen that that often produces two things: fear or rebellion. What we want is a faith that’s not based in fear but rooted in discernment. The kind that can sit through a movie and say, “That was intense—and I see now why that worldview doesn’t sit right with me anymore.” Or listen to a song and enjoy the beat while recognizing the message might be selling something cheap.
It’s easy to set up a false sense of safety by removing every potentially negative influence. But that doesn’t prepare anyone for Kingdom influence in our world that so badly needs it. It is possible to train ourselves and our kids to recognize light from darkness, truth from half-truth, beauty from distortion.
And sometimes that starts with admitting, “Yeah, I used to really like that movie—but now, I see it differently.”
That’s growth. And I want my kids to see that too—not perfection, not hypocrisy, but transformation.
So maybe the better question isn’t just “What are you watching?” but “How is it shaping you?” And even more, “How are you showing up in that space? Are you influencing or being influenced?” These kinds of questions take time and require the hard work of investment in our kids’ lives. But those are the kinds of conversations that can help develop critical thinkers who know how to evaluate what they’re seeing in the world in light of what they see in scripture.
That’s what it means to be in the world—not running from it, but not getting swallowed up by it either. Who is influencing whom?