I’ve always felt most fulfilled when I’m creating something. The quality of the creation? Honestly, sometimes questionable. But the act of creating itself, whether it’s writing poetry, crafting a sermon, working on a book, recording a podcast, or even tip-tapping out thoughts online (like this!) brings me joy.
That said, I’m also painfully aware of my sneaky little (or big?) ego. It lurks in the background whispering, “You’re not just writing… you’re building a brand. No, a legacy! Maybe even a Wikipedia page someday!”
And so I find myself asking: Am I doing this for the right reasons? Is this about serving others and glorifying God? Or am I just chasing clicks and dopamine hits? Is this an honest creation, or a slow-motion audition for Christian celebrity status?
To be honest, self-promotion has always felt a little icky to me. Back when I was an actor in New York (cue jazz hands), I loathed the whole “Look at me!!!” marketing game. My face would pucker a little bit every time I had to hype myself up.
And yet, here I am writing online, podcasting, creating, and putting myself out there. So in the immortal words of Lego Batman, “What the heck, dude?” Am I just a walking contradiction?
Well recently (and I’m sure someone wiser said this before me), I stumbled across a mindset shift that’s helped me:
Create not to form your identity, create from your identity.
Here’s what I mean: When I create to form my identity, I’m chasing affirmation. I want people to discover me, appreciate me, validate me. I want to be “the writer,” “the creative,” “the thought leader.” Basically, I want a cool title and a blue checkmark on my socials. These things then become my identity.
But the truth is: my identity is already established. I am a beloved child of God. And I had infinite worth to God before I created a single thing. My worth isn’t something I have to earn through brilliance, hustle, followers, or retweets.
So instead of striving, I can create from a place of rest. I can create because I’m already seen, already known, and already loved. And when that’s the foundation, creativity becomes a joyful offering, not an exhausting performance or cry for validation.
Now, does this mindset magically banish all pride and ego? LOL. I wish. But it does give me something to come back to when my motives start getting muddy. It reminds me that creating doesn’t have to be a ladder I climb, it can be an act of worship. A response to grace.
So to all my fellow creators, dreamers, writers, podcasters, and doodlers on church bulletins, don’t create to become someone. Create because you already are someone: deeply loved and fully known by God.
It’s way more freeing. And way more fun.